Going private soon.....

As I know (and pray) that our referral is comming in the next few months, I would like to go private and share my experiences with only the wonderful group of families that I have met and not the world.  I would have never thought that I would have such a wonderful group of families all across the country that can rely on for support and share experiences with.  So, Please send me your email so we can continue to connect and lend support through our personal jouneys. I will also feel more comfortable sharing  more information  that way. Kara also has my personal email. Unfortunatly, I am not on facebook and cannot connect that way.  Thank you for sharing your lives with me and I look forward to following your journeys as well:):)

Babies R Us.....Swift and quick....

This is a store that I dread to go into as an adoptive Mom to be.....dont get me wrong, its a great store with great baby items, but if you are in your endless and adoptive.... "no end in sight wait "to be a Mom,  its not really a happy place you want to be. Hubby and I ran in there to get a gift card for a friend and had the pleasure of being in a never ending line full of screw ups and customer ridculousness that sent me over the edge.  I counted 8 baby bumps and a line full of preggie pops and nipple cream, not mentioning the 100 infants in their car seat/stroller options rolling around with new parents.........ahhhh.....not a hater......just a waiter..........can I get an Amen???? I am a Mom to be minus the extra weight.....yea I said it:)........

My everyday joy.....my Korean babe waiting for me in Korea right now......his Mom and Dad waiting for the call.  Dreaming of the day comining home as we look up in the sky everyday and see big planes....knowing one day we will be on one home bound....Knowing that my child waits for me more than I wait for him...knowing that we are both in the world and we are ready to love him more than he ever though possible.  Knowing that as wonderful as birth is, adoption is just as sacred, maybe more because families are grown within our heart and not our womb.......

Happy Summer

Well since the seasons have changed since my last post, I guess Im due for one.  I've been following everyone's journey and wish everyone the best.  Hubby and I are in our 4th month of wait for a referral.  My agency still thinks we will have one by years end for our little Korean angel. We have our appt for our 3rd USCIS fingerprints next Monday!!!  I hope three times a charm and this is the last time we have to do it.  I don't know about everyone else but its a terrible place.  You have to shut your phone off(and show them) as soon as you walk in, you get a number and just sit in silence in a room with others and wait for your name to be called.  No TV, No music, white stark walls in a not so great neighborhood.  No Fun!!!

 So, like many of you we are getting very good at the waiting and keeping busy and distracted.  I have sunk myself into a work project so deep, its all I think about 24/7.  I think a bit of denial has also set in about our child which helps the emotional breakdowns:)

Here are some pictures from our vacation with our friends in Thousand Islands, NY on the St. Lawrence River bordering Canada. Absolutely beautiful.....and having two of our closest couples friends there just made it an absolute blast!

                                              Here I am with Sammy enjoying the river

Happy Summer and best wishes to all of my adoptive family friends!

Homestudy Approved......off to USCIS

With our homestudy for Korea officially approved, we can exhale a sigh of relief.  The I-600a has been completed and mailed to UCSIS on Saturday.  It was much easier to complete than the I-800a form for Poland...... Thank God. It feels great to know that we are pointed in the right direction again.  Our Agency Caseworker said we can expect a referral by the end of the year for a 7-8month old child which makes me happy beyond belief.  Even though our precious child can't come home for a year after being matched, I just want to see his /her face, and know I'm a mom.  I've already bought gifts for our first care package to our babe and their foster parents.

We are learning the Korean language and much about the Korean culture.  This is the one huge difference between Korea and Poland.  Being Polish, culture was a no brainer......the language was a bit more difficult but I learned alot of Polish!..  Korean language is much more difficult.....although my "Anyo-assayo"  (Hello) goes along way in the Korean stores here!!!:):)  One great thing is that New Jersey has many Korean areas and Influence that will not make my child feel so isolated.

I think about my child everyday...and it brings a smile to my face.  I am so happy for Laura and Brian, Margaret and Sean, Krystyna and family....May God Bless you to bring your families together soon, as well as safely.  Happy Memorial Day!

Homestudy....take...three

Well here we are at homestudy # 3 in two years....as I pulled weeds from the yard with my left hand (because my right hand is broken) this morning at 6am because I couldn't sleep,,,once again I think to myself....really???  Here we are trying to prove ourselves worthy of being parents to a child that needs a home and a family.......Really?  Does a perfectly clean house, freshly cut grass and manicured garden make us potentially good parents?? Our new Korean agency case worker came at 11am to complete our Korean homestudy.  Have to say...it went GREAT!  Really Great:):)  Hubby and I haven't been this hopeful in a long long time.

 What has my life come to??  Fingerprints beyond belief, HIV tests and other medicals and financial statements?  I have been a nurse for 13 years taking care of people day in and day out (dont get me wrong, I love what I do for a living).  My passion in life is to nurture which has led me to my vocation as a nurse.  I am selfless and put everyones needs before my own.  I am passionately loyal to my family as well as my small circle of close friends whom I cherish.  My friends are essential to my everyday life and I will do anything for them as they prove to carry me along on my rough road.  The sharing of a cupcake on an emotional day always goes a long way....thanks ML:)

 All I want is to Mother a child in this world that needs one.  Adoption is not for the weak of heart. Adoptive families must pocesss a special strength from God to endure the pain of the journey.  The journey is a wicked one as many of you have endured....but the reward is beyond measurable and is what keeps me going day in and day out.

Speaking of loyal friends...I spent the weekend with one of my best friends J. in North Carolina this weekend and had a blast.  Even though I was frisked at both Newark airport and Asheville airport(cause of my gimpy hand splint).  We found our way into South Carolina, a state that I have never visited!!  I was so excited to pass the state line(i know I'm a dork) but I made her stop on some side road to take a pic:)  Also, we got to buy some treasures from a dude named Uncle Buck on the back roads of NC.....The highlight of my trip!! I was able to buy some brass figures that were MADE IN KOREA for $5.00!!!  Also got a few original pics for the baby's room from an antique shop.

I also must add my first ever pair of Cowboy boots made from Lizard and Leather that I bought in a small shop in Hendersonville NC.  They are my new favorite thing:):)

Korean Children's Day

May 5th(yes cinco de mayo) is national Children's day in Korea.  It is  a Day in Korea that celebrates children as the future of the Korean culture and traditions.  Yesterday we celebrated with our new agency and about 15 beautiful families brought together by the Korean adoption process.  We ate a traditional Korean meal and won a raffle for a huge basket of Korean candies pastries and snacks!  Definitely not good for the pre summer diets:)

For all the families adopting from Poland, I would like to share a link that was brought to my attention by a fellow adoptive mom. Although some info dates back to fall 2010(when I was in the Polish Program)  I just want everyone to be informed of the facts as they move along in their own adoptions.  For all of my Poland adoptive friends, please know that I do not in anyway wish to discourage you as I wish you nothing but the best with your adoptions, I just would like you to know the facts.

  http://pear-now.blogspot.com/search?q=poland

I apologize if I have some typos....I have fractured my right hand( long story) and need to remain out of work and in a splint for 3 weeks:(  typing with just my left hand is a challange:(

Seoul Subway Song

Check this out..... A Caucasian singing to a jingle on the Korean Subway system that is played at transfer stations.  So excited about learning more about the Korean Culture  A fellow Korean adoptive Mom shared it with me......Love it!!:)

Does anyone like Kimchi?

It is with great happiness that I would like to share some exciting news with my adoptive friends....We have chosen South Korea to adopt our child from:)  After careful consideration the South Korean program shows much promise and renews our faith in parenthood.  The process is very different than Poland, it is actually a much easier process.  We are in the homestudy phase (again) and have aquired our documents (again) with lightning speed. Having to do this a second time, I feel like an old pro!

Korea is not a Hague country so We are going to need to file an I 600a.  Thank goodness we only had a few documents to notarize and NOTHING Apposilled....what a relief.  The proces is very different as I said.....Referrals come in between 3-6 months and the children are around 7 months at the time of referral.  However, due to red tape, the child stays with a foster family for approximately a year before they can come home.  During that time, we can send care packages and recieve monthly pictures and updates....I know I know...it WILL NOT be easy, but after the nightmare we encountered with the Poland program....two years in the dark, we feel this is doable:)  So our baby would come home at the age of 20-24 months:):)

Our agency has a wonderful reputation and our contact person is a breath of fresh air.  She is Korean and has been so wonderfully supportive.

 So Kara and I are in the same place, changing from Poland to Asia, (although they are adopting from China) and from her last post about race and culture, I have the same concerns for my Korean little one growing up.  He or she will not look like us and my biggest concern is them feel left out or isolated.  I plan On embracing his/her Korean culture without forcing it upon them.  I will leave that up to them as they grow up and make their own decisions....

I am so happy for Laura and Brian and hope you reunite with your new son soon!!  God Bless all the Adoptive families on your own  personal journeys to parenthood.

The long and winding road....

Well, my husband and I have certainly had a long and winding road thus far......and it was sooo hard to let the dream of Poland go after two years and several heartbreaking referrals.....I cant believe 2 years have gone by waiting for our children ... not to mention two years of infertility before that....and the adventure continues as we explore new avenues....The one thing I know is that we are not giving up.... with 140,000,000 orphans in the world, we will not give up until one of them is in our arms. 

Adoption is not for the weak of heart ......Pregnancy seems so much easier....books have been written on what to expect for you body, morning sickness, swelling...you have a due date.....you get a smile from everyone when they look at your belly.....No smiles for adoptive moms to be to be unless they are from within the adoptive community because people don't know what to say....or even don't want to ask...  Adoption is not so clear and expected......you just spin your wheels for a few months proving your worthy to parent..... then wait wait wait wait in complete darkness and pray that the Lord doesn't forget you and your burning desire to parent a child. 

So to all the adoptive mothers out there, I applaud you, we are a special breed chosen because of our strength and desire to love

New beginnings and endings........

Well, with a broken heart, I say that our adoption from Poland is not going to take place for reasons out of our control. Since it has been pretty quiet on the Polish blog sphere lately, I'm sure many of you know what I mean.  After two years of emotional investment in Poland, God has told us that our child is not there, and must be somewhere else in this world.  We are moving on in our adoption journey to our child, and hopefully will be shown our path to parenthood.  We hold hold our heads up high, are thankful for the blessings we have, and look forward to the future.......The Lord is leading our  new path, and we gratefully welcome him to do so.

We will update all of our adoptive blog friends on our journey...please stay in touch.......Prayers and many hugs to all of you!!!

Ahrr.....

I am going into 2012 like a rogue pirate with my two nephews by my side to keep me sane!  This picture was taken at halloween when we had a power outage in our area and my sister, husband, and her boys had to live with me for 4 days and it was wonderful. Its been such an emotional 2011, waiting for our children and with the losses of two Godfathers,  I happy to say goodbye forever to that year.  I have enjoyed so many wonderful times with my family which keep me sane through the dark wait and all of the questions and emotions that come along with it.

 I got an A in my first graduate class, was published in a professional journal, and just submitted a second article to that journal:)  My darling husband is halfway through his MBA/CPA and is working on marketing his delicious hot sauce to the public!

I don't know where 2012 will lead us, but we keep the optimism that our Lord knows what best for us as he continues to bring us happiness together in our lives.  Whether that leads us to our children, we don't know.  But we do know that we are blessed.  We keep the faith that our children are also waiting for us, and know that the Lord has our plan laid out, and we will have to trust in him, and continue to enjoy what he has already given us.  I hope everyone had a blessed holiday and please know that my prayers are with you and your families, as well the families waiting to be together.