Seoul Subway Song

Check this out..... A Caucasian singing to a jingle on the Korean Subway system that is played at transfer stations.  So excited about learning more about the Korean Culture  A fellow Korean adoptive Mom shared it with me......Love it!!:)

Does anyone like Kimchi?

It is with great happiness that I would like to share some exciting news with my adoptive friends....We have chosen South Korea to adopt our child from:)  After careful consideration the South Korean program shows much promise and renews our faith in parenthood.  The process is very different than Poland, it is actually a much easier process.  We are in the homestudy phase (again) and have aquired our documents (again) with lightning speed. Having to do this a second time, I feel like an old pro!

Korea is not a Hague country so We are going to need to file an I 600a.  Thank goodness we only had a few documents to notarize and NOTHING Apposilled....what a relief.  The proces is very different as I said.....Referrals come in between 3-6 months and the children are around 7 months at the time of referral.  However, due to red tape, the child stays with a foster family for approximately a year before they can come home.  During that time, we can send care packages and recieve monthly pictures and updates....I know I know...it WILL NOT be easy, but after the nightmare we encountered with the Poland program....two years in the dark, we feel this is doable:)  So our baby would come home at the age of 20-24 months:):)

Our agency has a wonderful reputation and our contact person is a breath of fresh air.  She is Korean and has been so wonderfully supportive.

 So Kara and I are in the same place, changing from Poland to Asia, (although they are adopting from China) and from her last post about race and culture, I have the same concerns for my Korean little one growing up.  He or she will not look like us and my biggest concern is them feel left out or isolated.  I plan On embracing his/her Korean culture without forcing it upon them.  I will leave that up to them as they grow up and make their own decisions....

I am so happy for Laura and Brian and hope you reunite with your new son soon!!  God Bless all the Adoptive families on your own  personal journeys to parenthood.

The long and winding road....

Well, my husband and I have certainly had a long and winding road thus far......and it was sooo hard to let the dream of Poland go after two years and several heartbreaking referrals.....I cant believe 2 years have gone by waiting for our children ... not to mention two years of infertility before that....and the adventure continues as we explore new avenues....The one thing I know is that we are not giving up.... with 140,000,000 orphans in the world, we will not give up until one of them is in our arms. 

Adoption is not for the weak of heart ......Pregnancy seems so much easier....books have been written on what to expect for you body, morning sickness, swelling...you have a due date.....you get a smile from everyone when they look at your belly.....No smiles for adoptive moms to be to be unless they are from within the adoptive community because people don't know what to say....or even don't want to ask...  Adoption is not so clear and expected......you just spin your wheels for a few months proving your worthy to parent..... then wait wait wait wait in complete darkness and pray that the Lord doesn't forget you and your burning desire to parent a child. 

So to all the adoptive mothers out there, I applaud you, we are a special breed chosen because of our strength and desire to love

New beginnings and endings........

Well, with a broken heart, I say that our adoption from Poland is not going to take place for reasons out of our control. Since it has been pretty quiet on the Polish blog sphere lately, I'm sure many of you know what I mean.  After two years of emotional investment in Poland, God has told us that our child is not there, and must be somewhere else in this world.  We are moving on in our adoption journey to our child, and hopefully will be shown our path to parenthood.  We hold hold our heads up high, are thankful for the blessings we have, and look forward to the future.......The Lord is leading our  new path, and we gratefully welcome him to do so.

We will update all of our adoptive blog friends on our journey...please stay in touch.......Prayers and many hugs to all of you!!!

Ahrr.....

I am going into 2012 like a rogue pirate with my two nephews by my side to keep me sane!  This picture was taken at halloween when we had a power outage in our area and my sister, husband, and her boys had to live with me for 4 days and it was wonderful. Its been such an emotional 2011, waiting for our children and with the losses of two Godfathers,  I happy to say goodbye forever to that year.  I have enjoyed so many wonderful times with my family which keep me sane through the dark wait and all of the questions and emotions that come along with it.

 I got an A in my first graduate class, was published in a professional journal, and just submitted a second article to that journal:)  My darling husband is halfway through his MBA/CPA and is working on marketing his delicious hot sauce to the public!

I don't know where 2012 will lead us, but we keep the optimism that our Lord knows what best for us as he continues to bring us happiness together in our lives.  Whether that leads us to our children, we don't know.  But we do know that we are blessed.  We keep the faith that our children are also waiting for us, and know that the Lord has our plan laid out, and we will have to trust in him, and continue to enjoy what he has already given us.  I hope everyone had a blessed holiday and please know that my prayers are with you and your families, as well the families waiting to be together.

Really?

I'm at a point in the adoption where I just have to scratch my head and say...."really?"  How did I get here and what is happening, where is this going???  I am so confused with my own process as well as everyone elses process right now!  It seems like a no brainer....children needing love ....and families looking to give love  and the proven means to support them and raise them. Hello??

The mystery surrounding this miracle called adoption just has me dumbfounded right now.  Maybe this is a natural part of the process, I don't know.  Like morning sickness and cravings are to a pregnancy, these feelings are just as unpleasant if not more.  Maybe the road to motherhood just all around sucks but the end result is indescribably wonderful and that's just the way it goes and I have to suck it up.....I just wish I had more insight on the process to reassure me.  I hope I read this post one day and laugh because I was holding my child/ren and realize that the pain I went through during the process was nothing compared to the joy I felt at that moment.

What we do to be parents......Home Visit renewal....

We came home about 730pm exhausted after a full day and an hour drive after spending a wonderful day with my cousin and his wife.  We have our homestudy renewal visit tomorrow after 13 months of waiting for our children.    Its at 10 am and we went crazy cleaning the house at 8pm.  Well, as I was cleaning the kitchen, my husband was dusting and vacuuming the rest of the house.....and as I was scrubbing the bathroom and the toilet I thought to myself...."I will do anything it takes to be a parent"....... and  then I thought.......Do others work so hard to prove themselves to be worthy of a child??  Why do we have to go through home visits, medical exams, fingerprints, background checks, financial statements, federal immigration approval, W2's and personal references letters to be worthy to be parents of a child when others can bear children no questions asked??  Must we be so perfect???   Are all parents perfect?? We have so much love to give and there are millions of children that need love so .......I just get frustrated......

Calm

For some reason...I feel a calm.  As anxious as I am for the call, I am cherishing my life  with my husband right now.  Don't get me wrong, I get teary eyed in my car sometimes leaving work with all of my friends talking about their children, giving birth, and getting pregnant.  In my heart of hearts, I know my call for my children will happen on God's time.  I pray every day and know that our blessing will come.  I just hope that they are being hugged and kissed, away from harm, and waiting for us as we are for them.  I hope they know that we are coming with open arms, and when we meet, it will be perfect.

We Belong Together

My husband and I went to an adoption conference this weekend called "Lets talk Adoption"  which was really wonderful.  I got to meet Dr. Jane Aronsen who is an internation adoption guru that I have researched much on the internet.  She was an amazing speaker and I got to speak to her about something that was on my mind....for me...it was like speaking to a celebrity!!  At this conference I bought two childrens books which simply brought tears to my eyes.  One is called "We Belong Together" and the other is " A Blessing from Above".  My husband had to remind me to "keep it together" as I read them at the exhibit with happy tears in my eyes.  What can I say?  As we renew our homestudy and CIS info,  I can't believe how that last year has gone by.  I just pray that every day brings us closer to our children who are also waiting for us.

In the mean time, I have started graduate school and am working on my second published article, life is busy.  But in my heart, my little ones are at the forefront, and wait patiently for them.

Welcome Fall

Fall has always been my favorite season and the northeast has beautiful ones.  The days get shorter, the air gets fresher, the trees change into their brilliant red,yellow and orange.  It reminds me of new beginnings as a child excited to start a new school year with brand new notebooks, pencils, and backpacks.  As we start to say hello to fall I bid summer fair well.  Many fun weekends down the shore with my family will stay with me in my memory.

 The 10 year anniversary of 9-11-01 was a painful one.  The memory of seeing the smoke on my skyline will always be embedded in my brain.  The alarms and sirens are still blaring in my ears. This is my backyard and I woke up every morning for 24 years seeing those beautiful towers downtown.  I still look at the skyline and just can't believe that they are gone.  I was at the WTC one week before this tragedy happened....I pray that everyone who's lives were taken that day is peaceful, and their families find comfort.  My street had a block party on 9-11 to come together as a community and it was a wonderful time.  I met alot of neighbors that I had not had the chance to otherwise meet.  One of my neighbors was part of the cleanup crew for two years following 9-11-01 and had this wagon full of memorabilia.  You can see in the picture a piece of the WTC that he retrieved from the site in the back on the grass. It is airbrushed with the picture of the towers and you can see the huge rivits.  He said it was still hot when he retrieved it.  The moment I saw it my eyes welled up with tears and the hairs stood up on my arms.

We are past the one year mark in our wait for our children but we have been busy:)  I finally, after 12 years of procrastination started Graduate school. YAY....and it is challanging!!!  My husband is working on his MBA and busy as well.  We are enjoying eachother and our life in the present but still pass that empty room everyday and try to be patient.  For right now........its all about Football!! Go Dolphins!!!!!